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Rubyfruit- 386

Rubyfruit- 386

I recently wrote a blog entry for with a crush playlist. This is the show to go along with that.

I blame my friend Ben for this crush(I guess anthrogirl is to blame too). Talk to girls he said. It will be fine he said. Nothing has to happen he said. Just talking he said. It has been fine. Better than fine actually. Was not expecting this girl to fall out of the sky. Tried to ignore it, but glad I didn’t.



Colbie Caillat– Fallin’ For You
Katie Costello– Cassette Tape
Doria Roberts– Perfect
Meghan Tonjes– Be In Want
Tove Lo– Paradise
Sara Bareilles– I Choose You
Melissa Ferrick– Will You Be the One
Tegan and Sara– Closer

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Playlist: I’ve got a crush on you

Originally published on

Having a crush is enough to make your head spin. You overthink everything. You spend a lot of time wondering if they like you, too. You agonize over every text, retyping it at least three times before you send it. That’s after putting more thought into one tiny message than Thomas Jefferson put into writing the Declaration of Independence.

You daydream about your crush, you annoy your friends talking about her, you’ve even nicknamed her for ease of reference (Sorry! Not sorry!). Every time your phone makes a noise, you freak out because it might be her.

Somewhere in the middle of these very real, sometimes ridiculous emotions, music falls into the mix. Every sappy song suddenly becomes about her, even the cheesy pop songs (cue big sigh). Below are eight songs currently on my own crush playlist.

Colbie Caillat, “Fallin’ for You”
This song had to make the list. You really like someone, but making yourself vulnerable is a scary thing and sometimes makes you a little crazy. Let all those feelings out and take that leap of faith. Tell your crush how you feel!

“I am tryin’ not to tell you, but I want to
I’m scared of what you’ll say
So I’m hidin’ what I’m feelin’
But I’m tired of holdin’ this inside my head”

Katie Costello, “Cassette Tape”
Getting to know someone you like can be fun. You learn about her likes, her dislikes, and what makes her tick. But it can also be a little nerve wracking and sometimes, feels like it might be easier to just lay it all out at once.

“I wish there was a social excuse to make you a cassette tape
I’d teach you all about my life from side B to side A
Fast forward, rewind. Whenever or never mind”

Doria Roberts, “Perfect”
Everything in the beginning of a new relationship is perfect. Everything reminds you of your crush and you want everything to stay how it is right now.

“I’ve been thinking about you all night
A warm bed and a cozy fire
You put you arms around me and lift my head
And when you kiss me baby oh yeah…”

Meghan Tonjes, “Be in Want”
This song is all about that awkward stage when you’re in a state of being in want. It’s not love, it’s not lust, it’s that middle ground. You think about the other person all the time and you want her close but it makes you vulnerable and that is a scary place to be.

“And I don’t think you understand how much I want to hold you hand
And how that scares me more than anything I know
It’s getting hard to breathe, hard to be here alone without you
And every part of me is crying out
Oh you know I want you”

Tove Lo, “Paradise”
Butterflies are one of the best parts of a new crush. They’re fluttering around all the time when you see or talk to her. Sometimes they flutter about a little too much, but it’s still one of the best feelings ever.

“Being with you, my natural high
Still got every single butterfly
Just what they all wish that they had
So intense, it’s driving me mad”

Sara Bareilles, “I Choose You”
This song is sweet. Maybe you’ve gotten it all wrong before, but with this one, you see all the possibilities and are happy in the hope that maybe this time, you will get it right.

“I’ll unfold before you
What I’ve strung together
The very first words
Of a lifelong love letter”

Melissa Ferrick, “Will You Be The One”
All the uncertainty swirls around in your brain. Could this really be it? Will this be the one you’ve been looking for?

“Will you be the one I’ve wanted
Will you read my mind
Will you ask me where I hurt
and heal me with your eyes
Will I look at you with wonder
and never doubt our love
Yeah, could you be the one
that I’ve been dreaming of”

Tegan and Sara, “Closer”
That feeling of a new crush when everything is fresh and exciting and you’re trying to take things slow, but all you really want to do is jump in head first. You just want to be close to her and you spend a lot of time trying to figure out ways to accomplish that.

“All I want to get is a little bit closer
All I want to know is, can you come a little closer?
Here comes the breath before we get a little bit closer
Here comes the rush before we touch, come a little closer”

What songs would be on your crush playlist? Tell us in the comments!

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Top 10 Tegan and Sara Tunes

Top 10 Tegan and Sara Tunes

Originally published on

Since the first time I heard Tegan and Sara back in 2001, their music has always had a place in the soundtrack of my life. Their songs are emotional and sometimes full of angst, but always have an infectious melody and hook. I go through phases with music where I listen to one artist obsessively, sometimes for weeks. Lately, Tegan and Sara has been my go to. Recently, a friend asked me about my favorite songs and it was very hard to narrow down, so I decided to make a top 10 list.

10. Hell (Sainthood, 2009)
Tegan Quin has said that she wrote this song about her neighborhood in Vancouver, which the Vancouver Sun called “Four Blocks of Hell.” It also has a theme of unrequited love about a girl that she eventually got. The melody gets stuck in my head and won’t let go. This song is great when you need the perfect loud, angsty song tinged with aggression.

9. My Number (This Business of Art, 2000)
The angst of wanting to give yourself completely to another, but wanting to make sure they aren’t going to break you is the primary theme of this song. Just give them your number and worry about the consequences later! You’ll never know if you don’t make that leap of faith is the song’s advice.

8. How Come You Don’t Want Me (Heartthrob, 2013)
After getting the number, eventually there’s a break-up in so many cases. This is a song about the end of a relationship. Tegan and Sara write about matters of the heart and breakups a lot. This song can fit into many people’s lives. Sometimes, it stings when you see your ex with their new girlfriend and you think, “You left me for that? Are you serious?” I highly recommend pairing this listening with the Lesbian Breakup Cocktail *.

1.5 Sweet Tea Vodka (because all lesbians drink tea)
3 Unsweetened cranberry juice (for bitterness and the UTI)
Salt rim (for the salty, salty tears)
On the rocks (just like the relationship)

7. This is Everything (Under Feet Like Ours, 1999)
This song is about giving yourself completely to someone, about putting everything you have into the relationship, and it not being reciprocated. Loving someone can make you very vulnerable, and sometimes you can suffer. Ultimately, she just wants to love “without aching”. Don’t we all?

6. You Wouldn’t Like Me (So Jealous, 2004)
For me, this song is all about self-doubt and being afraid to show someone the real you. Maybe you lost yourself in your last relationship, maybe your heart was broken. In order to love again, you need to move past this and learn to trust someone else.

5. I Know I Know I Know (So Jealous, 2004)
This is a song about emotional distance. It’s a song about two people who love each other, but their love is fading. You don’t want to give up, so you try to hang on and work things out. Sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn’t.

4. Back In Your Head (The Con, 2007)
This song is all too familiar for me. It’s about getting too comfortable and complacent in a relationship. It’s about wanting to get that passionate love back that was there in the beginning and not being able to. (see song No. 8)

3. Call It Off (The Con, 2007)
The relationship is not working. You’re miserable and you decide to break it off to save yourself. You know it’s the right thing to do, but you start second guessing and wondering if it’s the right thing. We’ve all been there.

2. Nineteen (The Con, 2007)
This song is about many things. It is about being young and in love, and all the agony that goes along with that. It is a song about heartbreak and distance. When you’re 19, everything seems so big. Every emotion is taken to an all new level and this song is a perfect mix of angst and heartbreak. It is completely relatable.

1. Closer (Heartthrob, 2013)
This song is pure pop perfection. It’s all about you and your crush taking it to the next level and making that jump to getting physical. Just grab her and get closer already!

What songs would be in your top 10? Tell us below in the comments!

*Lesbian Breakup Cocktail courtesy of Dreidl.

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Gossip– Standing In the Way of Control
Honeyblood– Killer Bangs
Brody Dalle– Rat Race
Hunter Valentine– The Stalker
Jasper the Colossal– Whine-O
Sleater-Kinney– Dig Me Out
50 Foot Wave– Vena Cava

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Sharon Van Etten– Afraid of Nothing
Honeyblood– Super Rat
Courtney Barnett– Are You Looking After Yourself
Sharon Van Etten– Every Time the Sun Comes Up
PHOX– Slow Motion
Rubblebucket– Came Out Of A Lady
Tegan and Sara– Goodbye, Goodbye

Sharon Van Etten’s new album is amazing. It’s only 6.99 on Amazon.

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